Why I Pulled Back On A Huge Part Of My Photography Business
Whew, that isn't a title I ever thought I'd type out, let alone publish in a legit blog post and mean it. Before you think I've been down and sad all day, I want to assure you that I've actually been quite light, peaceful, and content. It's wild what God can do to a restless heart just with a simple "yes" from us.
When Carrie was born I took four months of maternity leave and it was so providential but I was itching to get back to work by the last couple weeks. One week out of maternity leave, I flew to North Carolina for my first wedding, I cried when I said bye to her at the airport, but it was a free feeling getting on a plane again like "the good ole days" pre-kids. The following weekend I left again for a wedding in Kansas. Keep in mind, when I say "I left for a wedding", that means I left home for 3 days. I was pumping every 3 hours to keep my supply up, trying to "catch up on sleep", and then by day 2 I was missing Avery and Carrie more than I ever thought possible.
Within Carrie's first year of life, I was away for 6 weekends, a total of 25 days. Which seems so insignificant and little, but when I stepped back and looked at the domino effect leaving was having on my mentality and attitude at home and as a wife and mother, it was significant enough to question my "why" for leaving. Was I chasing money and opportunity? Was I clinging to "my old life"? Did we NEED the money? Was I finding an excuse to leave my responsibilities at home? I spent an entire year weighing these questions and wrestling with them in prayer with God.
It wasn't until the past couple of weeks when we had friends and family over and I put work aside almost completely to host, serve, tend to, and soak up the company we had in our new home, that I realized my heart was calm and still and my attitude towards mothering's ups and downs was a positive resilient one. Literally AS I WAS VACUUMING I thought, "why am I working myself to exhaustion and frustration? Why don't I just pull back and create a boundary?" It was no longer a conversation of upping my rates so that it was worth my time. It was a realization that no amount of money would make this worth my time because it was time from my husband and daughter and home that I could never get back. It instantly hit me; time is my most precious commodity. Sacred almost.
So here we are, on August 9th 2021, I pulled back from traveling all over the country for wedding photography. I'll happily shoot wedding's within a 3 hours drive radius from Auburn, AL, and I will happily continue to shoot local portraits, families, couples, etc. But today I drew a hard line in the sand to protect my peace and joy as well as the precious gift of time that I have with this sweet family of mine on earth, and I would recommend it to any and everyone that's ever wrestled with these very thoughts themselves.